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Just let it rain

May 29th, 2008 by arielal09

The rain is pouring outside. I swear the sky is having a sudden case of depression since it won’t stop raining. The rain falls and falls like waterfalls. I feel like is never going to stop. Sure some rainy days are nice but I am kind of getting tired of it. It has rained for a week non-stop. It rains and rains and it won’t stop. Actually today it stopped raining for ten minutes in which the sky and the ground covered up in fog. From inside the classroom you couldn’t see anything expect fog. I do not know which is best; the fog or the rain. I think the fog is. It gives you a sense that some of these days it will stop raining. The sun will probably come out in this occasion and it will make everything seem better than it seems today or that it seemed a week ago. It feels like Costa Rica is drowning. From Monday I believe on it hasn’t stopped pouring buckets of water. I wake up in the morning it is raining, in the afternoon it is raining, and at night when I go to sleep it is raining. No matter what time it is it rains. I can wake up in the middle of the night to be sure to find myself drowned by rain. I do not know if it will ever stop. That is not right, I know it will. This is such a ridiculous and depressing blog I am writing. I do not know how you, however you are, is reading this and not falling asleep or feeling like crying. And I know the sun will come out and I will stop thinking such stupid thoughts. It can’t rain forever I know. Right know I feel pathetic writing such thoughtless blog but I have to post a blog. If I keep trying to write new blogs it will just lead to more depressing thoughts. I am just having a bad day, and for now I am going to settle with this topic. Just let it rain.

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A little something for marifish

May 22nd, 2008 by arielal09

             To please my fans (also known as marifish) I will write a post on what aspects changed in my life due to gymnastics. Gymnastics changed the way I look and think about things. It changed who I am as a person. I don’t know who I would be today if it wasn’t for gymnastics but I know I would not be the same person. It is not a doubt about me but it is the knowing that without gymnastics I would not be the same. Even though gymnastics wasn’t the overall greatest experience it has greatly influenced my life. And even if not all the influences are positive I know in the end a learned a valuable lesson from all of them.             

 When I was in gymnastics I was always very responsible with my homework and schoolwork. Right after I got from school I would eat hastily before devouring my homework in time to leave for the gym. I always tried to do this as fast as possible because if I didn’t it meant I would have to start working on my homework when I got back from the gym, which was like nine o’clock. Not doing my homework was out of question. After an exhausting, mentally and physically, workout the last thing I wanted to do was homework. Now I take my time. I get home from school, sit down, sometimes get a newspaper out, prepare myself a snack and eat calmly. If I have an activity or appointment in the afternoon I would probably get my homework done before them or after them without any sort of rush. This has made me live in a slower pace. It is weird, when I was in gymnastics I could always use more time (to do homework, to rest, to eat) but know that I am not it feels like time stretches forever before me. It is not that I do not enjoy having something as precious as time but it was strange having time on my hands after rushing for all those years. Apart from the physical aspects of my life changing so has my attitude toward things. The competitiveness I had in gymnastics has vanished. The drive to do something has to. And working so hard for something that is not going to pay off has to. If I am ever going to dedicate so much effort and time to something I will always ask myself is it worth it? Because if it isn’t I am not planning to waste the rest of my life doing things that don’t feel worthwhile. This includes the way I see competitive sports. I rather have fun that worry about all the sacrifices, injuries, and crying that are not going to pay off. When I look at gymnasts now I can only feel their pain to what they most have gone through, but I no longer see the joy of the sport. 

 Gymnastics has changed many aspects of my life. Thanks to marifish I now know just how many. It is my attitude, my drive, and my way of life that has changed. Now I feel like I have the usual way of life, not the rushing one I had in gymnastics. I feel more than normal in everything I do. But when it comes to thinking about gymnastics I know I have completely changed from the person I was then.  I know that without going through gymnastics I would never be the same.

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“Chalked Up” by Jennifer Sey

May 18th, 2008 by arielal09

              As I mentioned in my last post I was a gymnast. Having said that I just finished reading Jennifer Sey’s “Chalked Up”. Along with that I have read other people’s articles, blogs, and other forms of writing, many of them with negative opinions about the book and about her. Most of the people who write these comments are gymnasts, and it surprises me how few of them seem to relate to Sey. Instead of relating they do the opposite in a way. They deny any of the things Jennifer writes about happened at one of the gyms she trained: Parkettes. Saying it is the author’s perception of view as a form of criticism in my opinion it is ridiculous. Of course it is her perception of view, it her memoir. Of course this is not the absolute truth about what was happening at Parkettes or in her whole life in general, but when do we really know the absolute truth? The only real truth we have is our own, and Sey’s truth it is what is written in the book, whether whoever reads it agrees or disagrees.              

    Along with finishing the book I read on a website “Sey memoir not all it’s chalked up to be” by Lisa Lazar, one of the gymnasts that trained with Sey in Parkettes and is mentioned in the book. I tried commenting on it but somehow failed. Apparently I needed to be longed in somewhere to comment on it. Therefore I chose to comment on my own page. Lazar says as her argument that the book is from Sey’s point of view. Of course it is, as I mentioned before. Jennifer Sey’s book is about what she remembers. It is from her point of view only. Lisa Lazar also mentions how Jennifer failed to put many positive experiences about Parkettes. I say that if she chose to only put her “negative” experience then that’s up to her. Lazar also mentions that it is true (as Sey mentions many times in the book) that they were yelled at and weighted every day. She defends this by saying it was much worse at other gyms. I don’t understand how you can be okay with yelling; screaming coaches who and even threaten to keep you out of competitions because of your weight. I also don’t understand how it can be okay if it is much worse in other gyms. She says all sports do weight and scream at athletes. Maybe all sports do that, yes, but is it okay to do it at the level that gymnastics does? Lazar also mentions how “is a shame that Jen did not take the time to research and reveal any of this in her book” about how the Strausses have made positive changes at Parkettes over the last 20 years. The last 20 years of Parkettes are not relevant to Sey’s gymnastics experience and therefore it is unimportant to include them in the book. The whole book is Jennifer’s perception of truth, since it is obviously her memoir. If it doesn’t match Liza Lazar it doesn’t mean Sey lied. It is what Sey remembers not Lazar.                

Having given my opinion of Liza Lazar’s article I can say I do not see how any ex-gymnast cannot relate to “Chalked Up”. It is true it includes many negative experiences, but how many of us gymnasts didn’t have those? The book may not be the “absolute truth” but it includes an insight on what gymnastics can really be like. I cannot say my experience was nowhere near as traumatic as Sey’s was but I still manage to relate to many of her stories. This book to me shows many truths other ex-gymnasts aren’t ready to confront such as weight problems, injuries, and intimidating coaches. The stories Sey’s writes show how they still haunt her, and for that I applaud her bravery in writing such an honest book about herself. I believe it a great book for any person who went to an even slightly similar experience. In the end, whether you agree with the book, don’t understand it, disagree, or just don’t care, it is there to show another side of gymnastics.

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Gymnastics

May 12th, 2008 by arielal09

I entered gymnastics when I was five and left when I was twelve. I entered being a happy kid who had fun in gym and left being an unhappy preteen who loathed gym. Gymnastics was my older sister’s idea, and since I was a five year old who had no clue in life, I wanted to do what my sister did. It started as a fun hobby in a bad equipped gym. I loved it at first, and I wasn’t bad at it. From the bad equipped gymnasium my sister decided to switch gyms and being the little sister that I was I followed suite. The gym we transferred to changed everything. It was there that I learned countless new skills, competed against other girls, laughed, smiled, and succeeded. All of this in the beginning, because it was also there that at the end of my gymnastic days I failed, I cried more than I should, I fell, I was dismissed, and I failed. Gymnastics changed the way I view things, the way I feel, and who I am. It transformed my life. It revolved around gymnastics, spinning and spinning until it eventually crashed. I can sit down and cry about how it destroyed many aspects of my life but I can also appreciate the numerous lessons I learned, that I doubt many twelve year old have.    In gym our coaches treated us however they pleased. In my shinning days they praised me, they liked me, they hugged me, and they encouraged me. But in my dark days, when I was no longer a little shinning star, they dismissed me, screamed, yelled, shouted, and intimidated me. By the time I was eleven I was so sick of gymnastics but somehow unable to quit. I had tried quitting once when I believe I was ten but wasn’t able to. When I was twelve any little comments or happening could have easily driven me out of the gym and in the end it did. One day, one of the coaches I disliked the most made fun of me for some reason or other. By the end of practice I had had it. Any little incident would have driven me out of the gym and what he said did. I left gym unhappy but determined. As soon as I got in my dad’s car I told him the news, I was done with gymnastics. I knew I was going to feel useless without it, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I cried all the way home.       Leaving gymnastics was very tough on me. For the first time in years I didn’t have anything to do after school. I quickly adjusted to a slower life pace though. I joined other unimportant activities which filled my afternoons. But no matter what other sport I join I could never feel the passion, determination, and longing I had in gymnastics. I can’t see a sport as a source of competition, of challenge, instead a way of filling an empty afternoon, something to keep me from being bored. What gymnastics has taught me is that overtraining and dedicating your entire life to something can only lead to worse things than to better. This is why, unconsciously, I decide not to take on any sport competitively. While other kids shout and fight over who won in a PE class, I stay back not really caring much. I don’t want to be part of the same vicious cycle that gymnastics lead me to. I don’t want to go over the experience again. So for that reason I do not want to stay too attached to anything. That and for the fact that I can’t seem to feel any passion for any of the other sports I have tried. Expect for drawing, which is mine and for me only, I can’t feel passion for anything else. I no longer feel the passion for gymnastics but I can’t create it in any other sport. I wish I could but what gymnastics has taught me is that once you get too attached to something, your life revolves around it and once you’re in you can’t get out. So now I rather watch than me swallowed by coaches, pressure, and of course the sport itself. 

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